im in a pretty low mood right now..it was like being thrown up by this unimaginable euphoria, until gravity yanks you back into reality and you fall faster than velocity itself, crashing you deeper into the cold hard ground than you were before..leaving you there bruised shocked unaware of what the fuck just happenned..empty and wondering what you can do now, what u want to do..confused miserable forlorn and hating urself for the fact that you're simply not good enough to be up there and actually tasting a drop of pure happinness..you were never good enough for happinness. i guess some things never change. i guess i was just too imperfect and immersed in myself that i could not posibly attract the liking of **. or anyone I like basically. i tend to get those who like me instead.

love hurts, i shud stop before i overdose

i broke up with ryutaro,,it just wasnt working,,i cant communicate about serious stuff with him,,n it always seemed like he dusnt care,,he always says hes sorry but he never changes,,so since i cant change him n i dont have the right to, i guess this is better. he asked that since he likes me a lot and i still like him aswel, why isnt that enuf?

when will boys learn that feelings alone are never enough. they dont even come close.

so yea. we broke up right at our 2weeks anniversary. how ironic.this is by far my shortest relationship ever.which is i must say interesting.

hopefully i'll do better next time.

by the way, im starting to get the old habits agen..i puked all i ate today. which is the first in a while. i guess there rly is nothing to loose. i dont rave n go al crazy n eat evrything neways. i just eat normally, then puke it. i wonder how long this'll stay in me.

im loosing sum weight. im definitely not complaining. loosing more is just sooo tempting now..

Currently Reading The Handmaid's Tale : A Novel By Margaret Atwood see related

atashi wa nihon ni imasu!!

im finaly in japan! *whoopwhoop*

soo happy to be here,,the people are amazing,,specially my friends who live in the unihall,,we have parties every singel night,,(which is both good and bad) and i have a new boyfriend!

his names ryutaro woolbright,,this half american half japanese punk who loves the music i do,,which is super,,n hes rly nice n takes amazingly gud care of me,,i told him of the anorexia n hes watching over me now,,which is sweet i guess,,

school is ok i guess,,need to study more but thers just way too much distraction,,i'll try better tonite,,

so far, lifes all good..which is rare for me..so i'll try enjoying this while i can..